Had to move the words to a new part of the site: This is what I said at the memorial.
I always thought it was odd that a boy who didn’t talk much grew into a man who sang songs and entertained large crowds of people for a living. Perhaps it was his love of music that made him comfortable at the microphone, or perhaps it was an escape from the everyday world that made it worth while. Living life from one city or ship to another since leaving for college in 1985 made him a man of many experiences. Some wonderful and some painful. But during his life he met new and exciting people whether they were at one of his shows, on a ship, in some port or in the current city he called home . Trying a variety of jobs on land, settling into one thing for a long period of time wasn’t in his nature. Always searching for just the right thing , always looking for answers.
On Steve’s journey through his days, he touched many lives. He was a loving son, who loved his mother because to Steve, she made loving her easy. It was unconditional love, the kind you only get from your mother. He lived his life to not disappoint her, but he knew even if he failed some times, that in her eyes and in her heart, he was always forgiven. He was a sibling, part of a large family. He had the role of being the little brother AND the big brother. This could be a task that was challenging at times. How do you love so many people equally? How do you make choices everyone will agree with? Perhaps he wasn’t always the best at showing his love to them and perhaps he made loving him difficult. We all have that in our families. Steve would say, “we are a dysfunctional bunch, but you have to love us for it.” And then would joke that maybe you can’t love us all at once though (depending on who was upset with who at the time.) One thing this family was never missing though was the fact that they all cared about Steve and each other. Perhaps sometimes, they cared too much. But I think that just makes them normal.
Steve had the role of being a band member with the Swing Kings, Lenny Golmoka & The Chicago Push, the Jimmy Sturr Orchestra and many others on a variety of ships. He was an accomplished musician, teaching himself how to play any instrument he picked up, writing lyrics, composing and producing his own music. He shared his gift of music with the elderly at the nursing home, in shelters and in churches. He often filled request of friends to play at birthdays, anniversary’s and weddings. If there was a celebration, Steve’s gift of music would be shared.
With all of these roles Steve had in his life there was one role that many people were blessed with. It was that Steve was a friend. He was this big guy with this big voice, and he had a big heart. He was soft spoken, but when he did speak it was something funny or a great story of some adventure. He liked to listen and then would offer some advice, followed with “but what do I know.” Some conversations were all about Steve, some days or even months would be all about Steve. But eventually it would all even out and the days, weeks and months could be all about you as his friend.
To some, Steve’s life may have appeared reckless, unsettling, and lonely. But to those of us who really got to see him in his life’s journey, we knew that no matter where Steve was he had his faith. All of us have times when we struggle with our day to day lives, we search for answers. I think that in the end Steve was still searching, but he kept his faith and that faith is what took him to his final breath. He was not alone, just as we are not alone even though he is gone from our day to day lives here on Earth.
He is in Heaven singing to his mom, dad and all of the loved ones who are there with him. He is free from any uncertainty and he is celebrating in eternity. To those of us who are left behind to deal with the pain of this loss , we must hold close to our hearts that Steve was blessed with a life of adventure, love, music and the grace of God. May each of you find peace in the days ahead and blessings for your journey. Steve would not want anyone to carry the pain of his loss, he would want that we celebrate his life, with music, love, laughter and free from pain just as he now is. Play on in Heaven dear friend. ~Love, Tanya
On Steve’s journey through his days, he touched many lives. He was a loving son, who loved his mother because to Steve, she made loving her easy. It was unconditional love, the kind you only get from your mother. He lived his life to not disappoint her, but he knew even if he failed some times, that in her eyes and in her heart, he was always forgiven. He was a sibling, part of a large family. He had the role of being the little brother AND the big brother. This could be a task that was challenging at times. How do you love so many people equally? How do you make choices everyone will agree with? Perhaps he wasn’t always the best at showing his love to them and perhaps he made loving him difficult. We all have that in our families. Steve would say, “we are a dysfunctional bunch, but you have to love us for it.” And then would joke that maybe you can’t love us all at once though (depending on who was upset with who at the time.) One thing this family was never missing though was the fact that they all cared about Steve and each other. Perhaps sometimes, they cared too much. But I think that just makes them normal.
Steve had the role of being a band member with the Swing Kings, Lenny Golmoka & The Chicago Push, the Jimmy Sturr Orchestra and many others on a variety of ships. He was an accomplished musician, teaching himself how to play any instrument he picked up, writing lyrics, composing and producing his own music. He shared his gift of music with the elderly at the nursing home, in shelters and in churches. He often filled request of friends to play at birthdays, anniversary’s and weddings. If there was a celebration, Steve’s gift of music would be shared.
With all of these roles Steve had in his life there was one role that many people were blessed with. It was that Steve was a friend. He was this big guy with this big voice, and he had a big heart. He was soft spoken, but when he did speak it was something funny or a great story of some adventure. He liked to listen and then would offer some advice, followed with “but what do I know.” Some conversations were all about Steve, some days or even months would be all about Steve. But eventually it would all even out and the days, weeks and months could be all about you as his friend.
To some, Steve’s life may have appeared reckless, unsettling, and lonely. But to those of us who really got to see him in his life’s journey, we knew that no matter where Steve was he had his faith. All of us have times when we struggle with our day to day lives, we search for answers. I think that in the end Steve was still searching, but he kept his faith and that faith is what took him to his final breath. He was not alone, just as we are not alone even though he is gone from our day to day lives here on Earth.
He is in Heaven singing to his mom, dad and all of the loved ones who are there with him. He is free from any uncertainty and he is celebrating in eternity. To those of us who are left behind to deal with the pain of this loss , we must hold close to our hearts that Steve was blessed with a life of adventure, love, music and the grace of God. May each of you find peace in the days ahead and blessings for your journey. Steve would not want anyone to carry the pain of his loss, he would want that we celebrate his life, with music, love, laughter and free from pain just as he now is. Play on in Heaven dear friend. ~Love, Tanya
